Slow exchange (spell)

Slow exchange
Range: One object (special)
Duration: One week (special)

It had been a boring week of mostly sitting down for old Billobi Rustfoot, when there all of a sudden was a knock on his door. He put on his glasses, grabbed his walking stick and got up from the comfort of his favourite piece of furniture (an old present from his long gone cousin Hamphred). With a little help from his stick he managed to fight gravity long enough to reach the front door. Opening it revealed a young woman dressed in all black - obviously a letter carrier in service of Penny Black.

"G'day Sir", she said with a firm voice, jaws barely open. "Letter for Mr Rustfoot."

"That's me", said Billobi and smiled.

"G'day Mr Rustfoot, that will be one and six, Sir."

"One and six? Well that's just... I remember when it only cost a flat one..."

He continued to mumble while searching through his pockets with his free hand. There, deep down, could he feel the coins waiting for his gnarly fingers.

"Say... You remind me of someone", Billobi said and inspected the young woman's face.

"Is that so?"

"Yes... Why you look... Cursed coins! You will appreciate your former strength when you get this old!"

"Is that so? One and six, Mr Rustfoot", she said, not overly enthusiastic.

"Yeah, yeah... Now I know! You remind me of my...my daughter!"

"I'm flattered, Sir. One and six. Hurry up or Penny Black will make a visit, Mr Rustfoot."

"Yeah, yeah, you'll get your money you..." - his words disappeared when he finally got a hold of the coins. He reached out his hand to the letter carrier, who collected the right amount without a word.

"Thank you. G'day to you, Sir."

Just a sudden as she had appeared, she was gone. Billobi closed the door and defied yet again gravity with his walking stick. With a soft thud he fell into the chair, embraced by the warmth of the stuffing.

He inspected the envelope carefully. It was thick, thicker than average. The writing on the front was too small for him to read. He reached for his letter knife on the table next to him (also an old present from yet another gone friend; old Badsey, the former ferryman of Ketch-in-Loch), ripped up the envelope and pulled out a letter written on a thick piece of paper.

He started to read it: "Dear old friend! As I write this I'm looking out over miles and miles of pure gold; warm, yellow sand that forms the beach right next to my small cottage. The heat, good lords, the heat! Tall, naked trees that carries fruits sweeter than your dear mother's apple pie - gods rest her soul - and tall, naked women... Dear friend, you'd love it here! Our old bones and joints need this paradise. To give you a taste of the good life, I've attached a marker. It looks like a stamp, only larger."

Billobi turned the letter around but couldn't see anything that resembled a stamp. But when he shook the envelope upside down, a square piece of paper fell out. It was thin and had a drawing of a cat on it.

He continued reading: "I've drawn a cat on it - don't laugh, I did my best! Now, what you have there is a very special marker, enchanted by a good friend of mine. What I want you to do now is to lick on its back, and attached it on something the size of a small cat. Think of it like putting a stamp on an envelope! (I didn't have the money to pay for the stamp on this letter, though. Sorry about that, old friend!) "

While muttering about his cheapskate for a friend, he searched his living room for anything as large as a cat. Finally, he settled for the torn wastepaper basket that sat next to his chair. He licked the square piece of paper, and pressed it against the side of the basket. It sat loose, but didn't fall off at least.

He continued: "As soon as you've done this, it will be impossible to remove it."

Billobi reached out his hand and tried to pry it off, unsuccessfully.

The last lines of the letter read: "I have a similar marker here, which will start to glow as soon as you've attached yours. Now, over the next seven days, keep an eye open, and don't through away whatever you've attached the marker to - you'll see, old friend! / Your friend overseas, Tristan".

Over the next seven days, Billobi experienced something truly extraordinary. Every day, one small part of the basket was replaced by something thorny and dark brown. On the seventh day, the basket was completely gone, and replaced by something that looked like a brown little ball, with green, hard leaves on top. After a careful investigation by his friend down by the docks, he was informed that it was a pineapple, and was shown how to eat it. Though sweet, he didn't really care for the taste.


Some weeks later a new letter from Tristan arrived. Yet another one and six shorter, Billobi opened up the envelope and found a short note along with another marker. The note said: "Dear friend! The village enchanter has made a stronger marker! Just look at the drawing and you'll understand. See you soon! / Your friend overseas, Tristan".

After turning it around a couple of times, Billobi finally recognize the drawing on the marker. He immediately licked it, attached it to his forehead and went straight to bed.

A slow exchange-spell is usually cast upon a pair of stamps, which then are attached to the objects that the caster wish to swap out. The stamps must be made out of a fine piece of paper (not necessarily magical).

It takes one week for the exchange to take place. Every day, one seventh of the two pieces are swapped, resulting in quite fascinating (or horrible) mixtures. Living things such as fruits, animals, humans, etc. aren't harmed by this remarkable piece by piece exchange, although it may affect their ability to walk and talk (e.g. exchanging a man and a barrel).

It is custom to draw something the size of the object to exchange on the stamps as a guideline. Exchanging objects that differs too greatly in size may result in death (or worse).

Casting this spell upon an object directly (other than a pair of stamps) will cause it to disappear into a special kind of void, where it will sit and wait (forever, if so). The next time the spell is cast directly upon an object, it will trade places with that object, and so on. Note that this is independently of whoever cast, so that a person who casts this spell twice in a row can't be sure to get the first object back (it may already been replaced).

The markers will come off by themselves on the seventh day.

Penny Black (deity)

The postal service around the country varied greatly for a long time, both in structure, costs and reliability. The town of Horsehead for example had their Whispery Men, a group of people that delivered short, spoken messages within the town borders. Unfortunately, the messages always seemed to transform into something else along the way, making the whole thing quite unattractive to use despite low fees and fast runners. As time went on, the Whispery Men became notorious for breaking up marriages and starting fights between friends.

The situation was similar across the country, although in general not as bad as in Horsehead. Suddenly one day, round boxes started to appear. First in the larger settlements, and then even on the countryside. Billobi remembered the day when he first saw one of these tall cylinders in Badgerbrough. He was on his way home from school when he turned a corner and almost knocked his head against the black metal. Billobi had never seen anything like it before; it stood as tall as him, and the metal was pitch black and warm to the touch. There was a thin slot near the top, for reasons he couldn't understand.

As he ran his fingers over its body, he could feel the presence of a relief:


Time passed, and Billobi eventually found out that the round, black boxes served as letter containers, placed by the postal service of Penny Black, a new organisation that was devoted to the delivery of letters and packages (and actually succeeded in this task, much to the people of Horsehead's enjoyment). "Penny Black never misses a letter" became a famous phrase across the country.

The letter carriers were easily recognized by their black dresses, pale skin and, strangely enough, empty stare. It soon became evident that the letter carriers of Penny Black actually were servants of a deity with that very name. This deity, often depicted as a young woman with long, dark hair and finer clothes, thrived on the servants' satisfactions upon fulfilling a successful delivery. Every single parcel and letter held a tiny amount of contained energy, drawn from the sender, and released upon delivery. Penny Black fed on this, and she never missed a letter.

Being a letter carrier in service of Penny Black has certain advantages, although many would argue that they don't make up for the fact that you have to devote the rest of your life to be in her service.

These letter carriers are easily spotted all over the country, although no one seems to know how to enrol willingly into her service.

If the sender doesn't pay for the letter, the receiver must upon delivery. Otherwise, they're both subject to the Distrain-spell (see below).

The letter carriers are known to possess certain spells, most likely bestowed by Black Penny herself, to ease their duties. Some of these are:

Distrain
Range: One person (or home)
Duration: Immediate

If payment upon delivery isn't possible (or the sender/receiver refuses to pay), the letter carrier marks the subject with this spell. The next night, Penny Black will try to find a suitable compensation for the non-payment (depending on the size of the package and the distance travelled). In a worst case scenario, Penny Black will claim the person, turning him or her into a letter carrier.

Seal
Range: One letter/parcel/package
Duration: Until delivered

All items that are picked up by a letter carrier have this spell cast upon them as soon as possible. It will protect the package from being tampered with until the delivery is completed.
Anyone trying to open a sealed package will be marked in the same way as if the Distrain-spell was cast upon them. The only difference is that Penny Black won't accept any less than their soul (thus turning them into a letter carrier in her service).

Embrace (spell)

Embrace
Range: Caster's eyesight
Duration: Until dispelled

The town of Ketch-in-Loch is known for many things; it's one of the largest ports on the western coastline, it's built on a slope to prevent over-flooding, it's the only way to travel (safely) across the waters to the tiny island of Skiff-in-Loch, and it was the scene of the Big Hug, a historic dispute between the mayor and one big tree in the middle of town.

Billobi just happened to be in Ketch-in-Loch at the time being, happily taking notes about the dispute. According to the locals, the mayor had decided to get rid of the old tree since it blocked his sea view. When news got out, a small group of people gathered around the town centre and started protesting. But, as the hours passed, the already small group started to diminish even further, until there was but one left; a small yet sturdy woman, with hair as brown as her skin.

When Billobi came to town, the dispute had only lasted a day but were already on the brink of resolution. People were gathered in a big circle around the scene, consisting of the tree, the small woman, and the mayor, both hoarse from shouting at each other.

"'Tis my tree, Chipko!", yelled the mayor, face almost glowing red. "'Tis MY town, MY rules, and therefore MY tree!"

"No one owns this tree, you big piece of ogredumpling!", the small woman responded.

"I own it! 'Tis MINE! And I want it chopped down!"

"Never!"

"I'm warning you, Chipko, step away or I'll have the guards arrest you!"

"I haven't done anything illegal, you...you trollsnot-in-boots!"

To this the mayor didn't respond, as if he hadn't thought of that. It didn't stop his frustration, though. He pointed at the tree with his hand trembling in anger, and shouted: "'TIS MINE! MINE! GUARDS!"

Two men dressed and armoured in typical Ketch-in-Loch equipment, each wielding a kind of weapon that looked like a regular axe stuck on a long pole, walked up to the mayor.

"ARREST THIS WOMAN!"

Without hesitation, the two guards dropped their weapons to the ground and approached the woman by the tree.

"This is illegal, and you know it!"

"No! YOU are the criminal!" the mayor responded.

"ME? I'm protesting, and that's not illegal you charcoal-for-a-brain!"

"You...you called me NAMES!"

Just as the guards were to grab her by the arms and lift her to her feet, something strange happened very fast. The woman pointed her right arm at the guards, the left one at the tree, and mumbled something. In an instance the two guards were up against the tree, with their arms spread out around the trunk. It looked like they were hugging it, much to the crowd's enjoyment.

Without moving her left arm, she then directed the right one towards the mayor and said: "Leave the tree be...or I'll make sure you'll never let it go!"

"You... You're threatening me! GUARDS! Get down from there and arrest her!"

"I don' 'noo", one of the guards mumbled with his lips pressed again the bark, "I 'inda 'ike 'tt."

"Me 'oo", the other guard agreed.

"See...? No harm done", the woman said with a grin without lowering her arms.

Powerless and baffled the mayor left her without a word.

The following day the mayor resigned from his post and moved to a small village just outside of Badgerbrough, far, far away from Ketch-in-Loch. The tree still stands to this day.

This spell requires two free hands to be able to cast. Upon casting, the right arm must be directed at the person who shall embrace (the embracee or hugger), and the left at the person or object who shall be embraced.

It lasts until dispelled.

The embracee will then wrap its arms (or equivalent) around the target, unable to break the magical hug. The person hugging will never feel any discomfort while in this state, nor express any wild feelings of lust; he or she will just feel satisfied, embracing the moment.

Consume Key (spell)

Consume Key
Range: One key within reach
Duration: Instantaneous

After a couple of years of travelling, Billobi concluded that the best way to meet new and interesting people was to stroll the countryside without actually looking for anyone. He even came up with a theory of sorts, that said that while searching for anybody always gives you nobody, searching for nobody always gives you somebody. The hard part, he added, was to find anyone interested in this theory...

One time, while picking mushrooms in the old forest of Ogrebelly, he found an old brick house standing there all alone. It had a small chimney from which small puffs of greyish smoke could be spotted against the green scenery. When he came closer he saw that the windows were decorated with potted plants and various herbs, and there was even a fat cat gazing back in one.

He circled the house and found an old man in a pointy hat just outside the front door. He had his eyes closed, and seemed to be mumbling to himself with his fists tightly closed.

Billobi said a gently hello so as not to disturb him.

"Are you the locksmith?" said the old man without looking up.

"No?" answered Billboi. "I was just picking mushrooms. Did you lock yourself out?"

"Most certainly not! How could I, without a proper lock?"

He stepped aside and showed Billobi the lock - or more accurately, the absence of a lock. There was just a door handle, but no keyhole.

"So...there's no key, and no lock, and you haven't locked yourself out, but still you can't come in?"

"No no no!" the old man said annoyed. "There's a key for sure. I just can't remember it."

"Ah, so you've lost it?"

"No, I forgot it."

"Pardon me?"

"I drank it, and now I've forgotten it. And that fat cat is too stupid to open. YOU HEAR THAT, MR. BIGGLESWORTH? YOU CAN FORGET SUPPER TONIGHT! Stupid animal, I should have kept that imp. At least they have proper fingers."

"Well, couldn't you just..."

"Break a window? Kick down the door? And then what? Would you sleep here, in these woods, with an unlocked door, or broken window? Or are you really suggesting that I should put my trust in Mr. Bigglesworth? Can you picture him fending off a pack of ogres? YOU ARE QUITE THE KING OF THESE WOODS, AREN'T YOU MR. BIGGLESWORTH? YOU'D KILL THEM WITH YOUR TIRED EYES, OR WEAR THEM DOWN BY TAKING ONE OF YOUR NOT SO PRODUCTIVE NAPS, WOULDN'T YOU? He's quite the killer, Mr. Rustfoot! Bah!"

Since any further attempts to help the old man was out of the picture, Billobi said farewell and continued on his hunt for mushrooms. He took one last look at the house, and could've sworn that the fat cat in the window waved at him.

The Consume Key-spell turns any key into a spell, which is then bound to that key's particular lock. The lock will close, regardless of material, and thus keep the object in question closed by all means.

To cast this spell, one must place the desired key into a container of some sort such as a glass or mug, and focus upon that while casting. The spell will turn the key into a warm liquid. When consumed, a new spell will be recorded in the magic-user's spell book.

Anyone drinking the liquid without having a spell book, suffers 1d6 points of damage, and the key is lost forever.

The lock will close up either way.

The new spell recorded will be named according to its purpose, and will be of a spell level that corresponds to its (overall) importance. For instance, if the caster decides to consume the key to his personal diary (not of great wordly importance), he places the key in an empty mug and casts Consume Key upon it. When he drinks the warm liquid, a new spell named "Open diary" (or similar) will be written in his spell book. The new spell can only open this particular lock.

On the other hand, if the king does the same thing to the key of the royal treasury, it will most likely be a very high level spell. The decision is up to the referee, as always.

Locks affected by this will have a natural high magic resistance, to fend off any (magical) attempts to unlock it.

Cloud of Hunger (spell)

Cloud of Hunger
Range: One normal sized room
Duration: 1 day

The town of Badgerbrough, located on one of the larger trade routes in the country, was constantly hosting tired adventurers from all over the place. The inns were crowded and the pubs even more so. Tales of bravery, horror, and treasures would fill the smoky halls of every tavern within five miles - all of questionable veracity, of course, but a good story is a good story nevertheless.

One night Billobi heard the story of how a party of four adventurers from far north just barely managed to get out alive from an old tomb they were "investigating". The tomb seemed to be completely empty when they suddenly met a pack of - as they described it - "humans with rotten bodies".

These human-like creatures shuffled across the stone floor towards the party, with their arms stretched, but suddenly stopped. One of them slowly opened its mouth, and spoke with a hissing sound: "Nooo...sooo full...noo mooore..."

The party stood dumbfounded. "No more - what?" they asked, but the human-like creature just repeated what it had said, and shook its head slowly.

"Fools!" echoed suddenly an eerie voice from the darkness behind. "When I command, you obey! Now EAT them!"

"Nooo..." repeated the creatures again while shaking their heads. "Sooo full..."

"Why, oh why, did faith punish me with this imbecile army of undead oafs...", sighed the eerie voice. "Very well then! Taste my anger - and then the intruders!"

A thick smoke suddenly filled the room, which caught the party off guard. They tried to hold their breath, but to no use; their lungs were already filled with the ghastly smoke. But to everybody's surprise, nothing seemed to happened.

Unfortunately, when the smoke cleared, the human-like creatures were on their feet again, moving rapidly towards the party. They managed to knock over and kill the first two creatures, but then the creatures swarmed around the party's newest recruit and started eating him alive. The rest of the party decided to run for their lives, and didn't stop until they hit Badgerbrough.

Billobi thanked for the story, and went home for the night. When he came back to the pub the next evening, the four of them were there again, drinking and eating. They recognized Billobi and gestured wildly for him to come sit with them, but prior experience had taught Billobi that certain types of people - adventurer's mostly - likes to tell the same story over and over again. Despite how much Mr. Rustfoot enjoyed a good tale, he only wanted to hear it once. He waved and smiled back, but went straight to the counter instead.

He asked the bartender if he'd heard their story by now.

"Not once, actually", he answered somewhat busy. He suddenly lowered his voice and said with a big smile: "But I gotta tell ya, they're the most lucrative customers I've ever had. They've been eatin' now for almost two days straight!"

Cloud of Hunger fills a normal sized room with a thick, white smoke. Anyone breathing the air is affected by the spell, and immediately starts craving for food. They don't necessarily glut, but their hunger isn't satisfied.

The smoke smells different depending on the person, but will always reflect their most delicate food memory.

The Butlerhood of Jeeves (deity)

During one of his travels along the eastern coast some miles south of Horsehead, Billobi Rustfoot stumbled upon the small town of Woostershire in which he came to learn about the Reginalds, also known as the Butlerhood of Jeeves.

The whole town of Woostershire was built around a big church, that didn't in any way look like any church Billobi had seen before. It was built as a regular, rectangular two-story building, much like his old school. The church was in fact a school, dedicated to teach the words of Jeeves. Billobi had never heard of this deity, although he admitted that he wasn't much of a believer.

The followers of this deity were called Reginalds, and their mantra was "To serve". To become a Reginald, one must fulfil the biddings of his master, to constantly strive to be the best of butlers. This is the way of the Reginalds, written down by the Great Servant Jeeves. The Most Loyal Servant (the highest of titles in this church) even let Billobi see their most sacred artifact, the Linen of Jeeves, a white piece of cloth upon which three spells were written down, along with several commandments. At the bottom of the linen two words where engraved: "To Serve".

The three spells written down by the Great Servant Jeeves were Make Bed, Hold Tray and Recommend, all cleric spells.

Make Bed
Range: Touch
Duration: Immediate

"The bed of your Master, may never be left a disaster!"
- from the Linen of Jeeves

This spell simply makes someone's bed, preferably when it's empty.


Hold Tray
Range: Caster
Duration: One evening

"To help thee fight gravity!"
- from the Linen of Jeeves

This spell helps the caster avoid fatigue in his arms while holding trays during banquets.


Recommend
Range: Caster
Duration: 1 hour

"Wine and dine!"
- from the Linen of Jeeves

This spell let's the caster suggest the right type of wine to any kind of dish, with local specialities prioritized.

Lie (spell)

Lie
Range: Touch
Duration: Until dispelled

As often as possible, Billobi Rustfoot and his best friend Tristan "Hum" Beadle skipped classes. They went on adventures in the nearby forest, fighting dreadful monsters and casting legendary spells - at least in their imagination. More often though, they just went fishing.

One hot summer's day after returning to school, the head master caught them by surprise. He was furious and wanted to know what it was that was so important that the two couldn't attend their classes. The head master turned his head to young Rustfoot.

Billobi was at this time no stranger to bending the truth, so he told the head master that his aunt was ill and that he had to help her. Furthermore, this aunt lived deep in the forest, alone.

Right about then Tristan's older brother Brisan came walking across the school yard. When he saw his younger brother standing in front of the furious head master, he hurried up to them and - to everyone's surprise - hugged his little brother hard and long, while mumbling something. One nod to the head master later he was gone.

The head master now turned his head to Tristan. Billobi feared that Tristan, being the notorious bad liar as he was, would blow their cover. But to young Rustfoot's surprise, Tristan told the most beautiful and trustworthy lie he had ever heard (and he had heard a lot of them). When he stopped talking, the head master left them without a word.

Billobi turned to his friend and said joyfully: "That was the best lie I've ever heard!"

And Tristan answered him: "What are you talking about, that was no lie!"

One long and frustrating day later, Brisan finally rid his brother of the spell.

This spell causes the targeted person to lie constantly, unless a successful saving throw is made. The spell lasts until dispelled, something that has to be done by someone other than the affected person (since it would be a lie if the caster tried to dispel himself).

The effect of the spell isn't cumulative, so nothing happens if cast twice upon the same person.

Chug (spell)

Chug
Range: Caster
Duration: Immediate

As a not so inspired pupil at the school of Badgerbrough, young Billobi Rustfoot found the local pub to be a more comfortable place than his class room (although he didn't drink anything). One particular night he managed to overhear some of the older students talking about the pain of being thirsty and short of coins. Suddenly one of them started waving his hands and chanting something with a low voice. At the end of the casting, he fell backwards in his chair with a big burp and a satisfaction in his face. He had just had the best mug of ale that evening, and it didn't cost him a copper. Soon everyone around the table was doing the same thing.

The Chug-spell is infamous among pub owners around Badgerbrough, and anyone who is caught casting this inside that kind of establishment is banned for life.

Chug fills the caster's stomach with fluid equal to one mug (12 oz. / 35 cl.).
The exact type of fluid is random and cannot be predetermined, but is almost always alcohol based.

Chug is reported to work all over the known world, but strangely enough the liquids never change; they're always the same local (to Badgerbrough) beverages, probably due to the origin of the spell.

If cast a second time within 2 minutes, the caster must make a successful saving throw or be prone to violent vomiting for 2d6 minutes (unable to act).

Die Roll	Fluid
1	Water
2	Horsehead’s Stout (beer)
3	Pimbleman’s Cut (wine, red)
4	Ogrenose Pint (strong ale)
5	Pimbleman’s Teeth (wine, white)
6	Horsehead’s Best (mixed spirits)