Billobi loved to travel the countryside in his own pace, taking notes about the surroundings and the people living there. He wrote down everything, and was always in pursue for more strange things in the everyday. Whenever he could, he would ask around the local taverns for any adventurers who would be willing to take him along their next venture into the unknown. Most of the time, they said no after giving him a quick glare (Billobi never wore weapons), but sometimes they'd let him tag along.
On one of the expeditions into the dark underground (some old tomb somewhere next to some even older swamp), the adventurers he was following suddenly made a full stop in front of - what he believed to be - an ordinary door. When he asked why, they hushed him.
One of the adventurers, a man with beard and pointy hat, was examining the door thoroughly; his hands up in the air, his nose close to the door, he seemed to be inspecting every fibre in the wooden door. All of a sudden, he stepped back and said: "Step back. I know what this is. This door is locked."
Billobi almost dropped his sharpened piece of charcoal. Did the wizard actually suggesting that a locked door in an old tomb was something to be afraid of? Before he could ask, the wizard continued: "I believe we just need to shake hands, and it'll let us through!"
The man in beard and pointy hat stepped aside and showed the door handle for the rest of the group; it was a hand, slightly larger than the average, attached to a round brass base. The skin resembled leather, both in colour and texture. It writhed slowly.
"Let's say hello!" said the wizard and grabbed the hand firmly, as to introduce himself. A second later, he lay on the stone floor twitching in pain.
"DON'T SHAKE HANDS WITH IT!", he bellowed. "IT'S A HAND-MURDERER-HAND!"
The rest of the adventuring group decided to head back to town and leave the tomb, never to return. Billobi departed from the adventurers miserable, since he thought he'd just witness something strange and magically that he'd never see the likes of again.
Some years later, Billobi was seeking shelter for the night and came across an old farmer that lived all alone on the hillside. During supper, Billobi asked how it was to live all alone this far from the city, especially with only one working hand.
"It's wonderful!" the old farmer replied. "No need for formalities and such nonsense. People say they're afraid of ogres and whatnot, but I say: let 'em come! I'd rather be attacked by an ugly troll than have to endure the constant pain and horrors of handshaking!"
A playful door handle is one strange device to put on a door. It's a magical hand that is used instead of a regular handle or knob. To open the door, one must merely play rock-paper-scissors against it and win best out of three (ties doesn't count). Upon winning, the hand will tie itself and unlock the door. When the door closes, the hand will stretch out its fingers and lock the door, eagerly awaiting its next game.
It's useless to try and dispel the hand.
Any other attempts (such as shaking or touching it) will anger the hand, and it will immediately try to break any fingers it can grab.
The 2016 Cartographic Review!
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