Billobi sat in front of the fireplace, swearing quietly to himself. Nothing seemed to get the fire started. As he was about to develop a new curse word by combining all the previous ones he had used, he heard a familiar creaking sound behind him. Without turning around, he said: "Anabel, go to sleep."
"Papa, what you doing?" a tiny voice answered him.
"I'm trying to start a fire so we don't have to freeze. Now go to sleep."
The creaking continued for another couple of steps, and suddenly he felt a tiny hand stroking his back.
"Why?" she said.
"Why what?"
She pointed at the splintered wood in his hands, and repeated the word.
"It's easier to burn them when they're small. And when they catch on, they will -"
"Why?"
"Because the sparks doesn't have to...you see, they fly around and hit the -"
"Why?"
Billobi took a deep breath and threw the sticks on the pile in the fireplace. He picked up a piece of paper from the table behind him and started shredding it.
"Papa what's that?" Anabel asked.
"This? Oh this is just some paper we can use to -"
"What paper?"
"It's just a dumb newspaper."
"Why?"
"Because they just are."
"Why?"
"What's that? A book?" Billobi quickly said and nodded at her.
"Coppasteam", Anabel answered.
"Oh, the Copperstream-book. Shall we read it again? About the hedgehogs and the king? Come, let's read it in bed. Papas dumb newspaper won't even burn..."
Get your copy of the Badgerbrough Inquisitive, issue 9:6 here! (on Google Docs).
It's licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
If you want to read Anabel's book you can do so here.
[New Magic Item] Homunculus Whistle
23 hours ago
Fantastic issue!
ReplyDeleteYou must be crazy, though. No normal person would ever think of a monster on a pedestal as a toy. But I forgive you because the newspapers are so damn funny.
They really add realness to your whole world, I noticed, as if it becomes more alive when you retell earlier stories and events through the newspaper.
Thanks, Antsypants! Mensen, mensen.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to turn The Inquisitive into a "real" newspaper (although most people in Badgerbrough wouldn't refer to it as "newspaper" but rather "piece of wolfpoop").
Only you shouldn't be able to subscribe to it - one morning you'd just find a copy of the Inquisitive in your mailbox.
I think the problem is to ask strangers for their home address...
I am sure there is a way to find people's addresses. And it is not like it is illegal to send letters to others. I would love to get a non-commercial newspaper in my post box, whoever it would be from.
ReplyDeleteAt the very least, I'm assuming, we can print ourselves a copy of the issue 9:6. :-D
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, Runjikol! I mean, Christmas is coming and all...
ReplyDelete